It’s not for them; it’s for you?

In Erika Mitchell by Carmell Pelly6 Comments

It’s not for them; it’s for you?
What does this mean? It means that forgiving someone isn’t for the other person; it’s for actually for yourself. Holding onto a resentment hurts the person holding onto it. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!

I started reading the 12 promise last night, and I remember walking into the rooms of AA reading those promises and thinking that’ll never be me. I thought I would never have freedom or happiness.

Today, even when I’m not happy, I am? If you get that, it’s confusing, but even my awful days in addiction ain’t half as terrible as my bad days in recovery. So I always try and remember that! Also, I don’t regret my past, nor do I wish to shut the door on it. I have acceptance of it, and I’m using it for good. I’ve learnt from it and have moved on guilt free!

Wow, this is just amazing. I’ve done a lot of work to get thus far, didn’t come easy, but more comfortable than being in active addiction. I hate when people say recovery is hard; yes, it’s hard, but living life homeless and trying to find your next high, so you don’t get sick is HARD.

Today, I personally know peace and have serenity. I’m no longer fighting with my mom and dad everyday, no longer waking up to the drama or have people banging on my door looking for dope. I now realize how my story can benefit others, and that’s one of my biggest purposes today! To inspire and help others recover from the things I never thought I would or could. I don’t feel like I’m useless, and I’ve stopped that self pity party. NOW this is a huge one for me, I’ve lost complete interest in that lifestyle. First getting sober I thought maybe I could get sober and sell drugs and make a lot of money; let’s all laugh here!!! I’ve lost interest in selfish things, I actually feel like I’m growing up!! Things that use to make my blood boil, don’t phase me today! I’m no longer self-seeking, not only has my tunnel vision of only focusing on myself gone but I want to focus on others and help others! That’s where my joy in life comes from! My attitude towards life has done a complete 180, I see true joy in life. Fear of people and of economic insecurity as left me. I want to shout from the top of my lungs just how thankful I am for my addiction; it’s made me into this person I am right now. I can handle the situations in my life that once baffled me, and treat them in a clam matter. 
Mostly importantly, I know God is doing for me what I couldn’t. 

I consider myself lucky for coming out of it alive, so many don’t. I pray every night for the ones who are still suffering in addiction and that one day they can have all these promises come true for them.

Comments

  1. I am so grateful to be blessed to share this journey with such an amazing inspiring woman. Erika the transformation in you is truly miraculous. Thank you for your courage to share it.

  2. You are a special creation of God ! He made you perfect just like all his other creations . You have been givin these mountains to move to show the world it can be conquered! I know how hard you have worked ….I also know that it has been some of the most emotional inner work that you have ever done . Life is never easy make sure you are happy and enjoy it . I know your journey will never be complete…I know you will have rise up on some days and fall on others …but that is life ! I want you to remember how far you have come ….you have accomplish so much in such a short time ! It shows that you were so completely ready! I know now that God was with you every step of the way …he protected you when you had no since of direction in your life just has he continues to guide you today . Believe in yourself like God believes in you my sweet angel. I know his plan for you is greatness!
    Thank you for the gift of your sobriety. It is my greatest gift as it always should be the greatest gift that you have givin yourself ! Be proud to say I did it and will continue everyday to do my best . I know your story has been and will continue to be the light that beams into the little crack in someone’s darkness!
    You are and always will me my inspiration ❤️
    Love Mom your biggest supporter 💖

  3. I’m still fighting. I did the rehab, but I fallen into it hard again. Addiction is an everyday battle for me.

    1. It really is but remember to keep fighting against the devil. He wants to win but don’t let him. Pray and pray and pray and I promise it’ll get easier. Work threw the steps!

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